this is lemonade

A mindful, grateful, creative life: Life constantly hurls lemons at us. I’m on a mission to make lemonade as best I can, by God’s grace.


A little hello…and my first trendy #TBT post

Greetings to anyone who is still hovering around my blog despite my protracted absence…! How are you all?

My little toddler was singing to herself in her cot as I was reading this article. I was getting ready to give up on the idea of her napping today, when she unexpectedly fell asleep….so I though I’d write a little bit of a response to the article – a little peek into what I went through in the early days of unintentionally abandoning this blog space. I know I never set strict confines for the subject matter of this blog, and this is a personal post. However, I’m aware that many of you may not find the topic relevant or interesting. Please feel free to move swiftly onto something else if so, but I hope you are still doing well in your corner of the world, wherever you are passing by from!

In the meantime, for those of you on Instagram, I have recently joined so that I can have some sort of creative outlet… I’m there under @thisislemonade – hope to hear from you!

I miss you all! <3

* * *

My, now very healthy, greedy little toddler, struggled to feed in the early days and was quite severely jaundiced at birth. The doctors could not tell whether her difficulties with feeding caused the jaundice, or the jaundice affected her desire to feed.. either way, it was a very stressful few months at the beginning as she also suffered from reflux and cried a lot needing to be held and refusing to settle to sleep on her own. Looking back, I now recognise the myriad of mistakes I made in terms of attempting to breastfeed, not helped by the seemingly thousands of different changing suggestions and instructions from different health professionals and concerned family members or friends during my most vulnerable time after having given birth.

She is now almost 18 months old and I am able to read about breastfeeding without suffering pangs of regret all the time. I am currently looking back to look forward…..

* * *

After many weeks of struggling with pain, doubt and expressions of concern all around, I finally managed to achieve a couple of days of exclusive breastfeeding – still with some pain, but my baby was starting to really gain weight and seemed to be doing a lot better.

I will never forget the single incident that completely shattered my confidence, which was of course very fragile at the time… I had been banking on an endorsement from my GP to help give assurance to those around, who were concerned for the effects of my struggle to breastfeed on the health of my baby. We were due a weigh-in and check up… I arrived in his office and sat down, triumphantly announced that I was now 100% breastfeeding:


He had been very supportive of my efforts up to that point, but had thoroughly endorsed mixed feeding. His own sister, in his words “supplemented formula with breast milk” – she struggled to breastfeed exclusively and managed to get around it by giving baby some formula first, and then nursing at the breast. My GP could not understand why I wanted to put myself through the struggle to exclusively breastfeed and became concerned I would not manage it.

The grief and remorse I felt at eventually having to give up breastfeeding at 10 weeks has subsided very gradually over the past 15 months or so. I finally had to stop, because in spite of attending every breastfeeding clinic and cafe I could find, the pain was just inexplicable and became physically and mentally unbearable.

By the dawn of 2016, I am hoping that I will have been given another chance to try again. Apart from the fact that not having to sterilise bottles seemingly incessantly has always been a great incentive, I’ve always wanted to breastfeed because it is just the most natural instinct for me as a mother. I know not all women feel the same, and I personally don’t feel the need to preach to those around me that “breast is best” because in my social circles at least, there is enough information out there being promoted by health professionals and so on. Some mothers I know have their own pragmatic reasons for not breastfeeding and enough have struggled and have been unable to overcome difficulties with breastfeeding without everyone reminding them of how they “failed”.

But I hope that, given my previous experience, I will at least be armed with more confidence and have a clearer idea of what not to do next time. And this time, I’ve also put my foot down and refused any visitors in the first few weeks who I know will not be supportive. It’s not easy, but it’s what I have to do to give us a fighting chance. Although I don’t intend it to be a fight… I hope it will not have to be….


FF | Just sayin’

I’m working on getting back onto this blog at the moment with a bit more regularity, but in the meantime I thought I’d share something fun and quite meaningful for an Frivolous Friday post…. Check this Etsy shop out! Opens Sunday!

Hope that brought a smile to your day. Have a lovely weekend! X


FF: On the face of it

Just wanted a light-hearted post this week…the hubby bought a silly gadget from a super cut-price supermarket (or the supermarket any German loves to shop at, it’s not cut-price over there, it’s just a decent supermarket). He left the packaging sitting on top of the other recycling and I spotted it yesterday evening :)


Just hope it made you smile. Have a lovely weekend!


Finally Friday | Relaxation

Some people indulge in a nice long bubbly soak…I fold things neatly into my wardrobe.

wardrobe organising

Have I mentioned that I like stripes? What helps you to wind down after an intense day? Happy weekend! :-D

1 Comment

Finally Friday

I need to get back on this blog! I have loads of ideas but no opportunity. It’s not even that I have no time, it’s just that when I have the time it’s not always possible to get to the computer. Much as I appreciate the WordPress app, blogging from my phone just isn’t good enough.

So here’s the plan: I’ve spent the past 6 months since Baby Girl arrived, looking forward to Fridays. Because after Friday, is Saturday. That normally means that I have back up and don’t have to do everything by myself. Even if back up sometimes needs gently nudging out of bed…

So I’m starting Finally Friday. A short thought, that sums up the mood of the week. Or something that just came into my mind at some point during the week. Perhaps it’ll have a photo accompanying it, perhaps not. So….hey, I hope this plan works :-)

Hi everyone! It’s Friday tomorrow! Watch this space :-D


WOW Wednesday: Tea leaf eggs


Chinese Tea Leaf Egg Shell

I’ve been away for so long and I’m missing this space. Doesn’t mean I’ve not been aware of beautiful things though in spite of my baby brain!

Just wanted to share a thing of beauty. A friend made me some Chinese Tea Eggs this weekend and I just love the pattern on them when you peel off the shells. They are also delicious. Enjoy!

Hope you are all well xx


Happy Easter!

Just popping in to wish you all a Happy Easter. Without Easter Sunday, there would only be Bad Friday and no good in the Easter story. So I’m thankful for God’s grace and for the hope and joy after suffering that comes wrapped up in the gift of Easter.

Another piece of good news that has less of a wide-reaching impact and more of a personal one, is that Baby Girl arrived last week! ♡ She was a tad early, and the birth didn’t go as we’d hoped, but words cannot express what a joy it is to finally get to know the little human that has been growing inside me for the last 9 months.  It was all worth it… and the poo and feeding and crying and lack of sleep hasn’t dampened anything… except perhaps the urge to blog :-P

So please forgive my impending absence. I’ll be back hopefully in the not too distant future (and resolve not to flood this space with endless poo reports when I return!) In the meantime, thank you for being there, supporting and encouraging me. Take care! X


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